Our Engagement Pictures

When we booked our photographer, I was really excited about having our engagement pictures taken. An hour of glamour shots of me and my boo? Um, yeah, count me in. I quickly booked us an hour shoot in Santa Cruz on Joel's 29th birthday on a Thursday evening during my spring break. I didn't know exactly where we were going to take pictures or what I would wear or what Joel would wear, but I was very excited nonetheless.

Then... the terror struck. What would I wear?! What would Joel wear?!?! Where would we take the pictures?!?!? How would my big, ol' nose photograph?!? The day of the shoot, I actually had stomach pains I was so nervous and the first 5 minutes was spent nervously giggling and acting like  a straight-up fool... getting pictures taken in public was pretty awkward and I probably came off as a giant idiot to our photographer. Eventually, I defrosted a bit and started to get the hang of taking pictures: getting awkwardly close, nose to nose, laughing on command and lots and lots of kissing. I'm not one to shy away from PDA, but doing it in front of a camera was surprisingly challenging.

We kissed, we hugged, we walked around Santa Cruz and we even changed outfits (note: if I were to do these pictures over, I might not have changed outfits. It was a huge hassle in the car and I think I flashed our photographer. Sorry, Michael!) Not even 24 hours later we had our engagement pictures and they are stunning. Who knew we could be so freaking hot? I love them, Joel loves them, our family loves them...we're so happy with them and can't wait to use them everywhere in our wedding. For example, we weren't going to have save the dates. Now? Well... they're already ordered! I'm also thinking we'll have a photo guest book... how about giant life-sized posters? Kidding. Here's the pics:

one of the first pictures we took & an example of my nervous laughter. note: joel was much more composed and comfortable in front of the camera, he's my male model!

we took photos in 2 locations: the first was an abandoned moon temple i used to live behind in college. freaky then, but cool now.

one of my absolute favorites

the cool moon temple gate

after our outfit change, we walked a block to the cliffs to take some pictures. 

gah, look at him! how did i get so lucky. i think you can see it on my face too... i'm kind of obsessed with this guy

all images c/o Michael James Photography

Our photographer Michael is amazing. Joel and I are still in awe of his incredible skill and ability to put us at ease. He was so easy to talk to and directed us without making us seem like idiots. I'm glad we got to spend some time with him (way more than the hour he booked us for!) before the wedding and I can't wait to see his pictures in February!

My Last Name, My Identity?

...do I have to change my last name?

When I was a kid, I HATED my name. My poor mom. I constantly asked her why she had to give me such a terrible name: it is VERY French and SUPER Catholic (two things which I'm REALLY not), it rhymes with nothing, and people mispronounce both my first and last name all the time. Heck, even I mispronounce my own name from time to time (which is why I never correct people. People like phonetics and English, who am I to say otherwise?). But then I got older. I grew to appreciate my unique name and what it stood for. 

My mom, whom I am especially close with, raised me as a single mom. I have her last name, not my father's. I share my last name with my grandfather and grandmother, two of the most special people in my life. My grandmother was a beloved elementary school teacher for many years. When she died in 2010, some of her students attended her funeral, remembering her as a teacher who truly changed their life. Now I have my own students calling me the same name of my grandmother (albeit I'm 'Miss' and she was 'Mrs.) It's a really special connection that I think about all the time. My last name gets all kinds of compliments and when people do say it right, they feel so proud of themselves, "Did I say it right? I did?! YAY!!" I love giving people that gratification. Plus, my name is alliterative, like Peter Parker or Mandy Moore! Gotta love that!

  

great alliterative names: Peter Parker, Mandy Moore and MINE!

Now it's time for me to consider what my new married name will be. Historically, women have given up their last name and adopted their husbands, we all know that. Every other woman in my large extended family has taken their husband's name. But if I give up my name, I feel like I will be giving up a huge part of my identity: my connection to my mom and grandparents, my cool teacher name, my talking point with strangers, my alliteration. However, I always thought I would share a name with my husband and my new family. Joel's last name though... it's no MY last name. My unique, one-in-a-million, very French, very Catholic last name. The name I've been known for my entire life. The name on my degrees. My identity.

Lots of colleagues have talked at the lunch table about the importance of taking your husband's last name: it's a way to be connected and establish your family. Their point is pretty convincing. They would then turn to me and ask my plans, and I would sheepishly say, "I was thinking of keeping my name?" and then they backpedal like crazy, "Oh no, you should totally do that!" ...thanks, guys. So helpful. 

It's hard for me to think that a majority of our society thinks that women need to give up a part of their identity in order to establish a family. It feels like I would literally be ripping off an appendage if I had to give my name up. Of course, Joel isn't forcing me to give up my name. He loves my current name, and he doesn't want me to feel like I have to change it. I appreciate his support, but I am still struggling because I feel like I'm surrounded by name-change encouragers! 

It's a crazy difficult decision to make! I know I'm not the only one struggling with this decision. As more and more states overturn bans on gay marriages, there are more and more couples navigating the tricky name change waters. On gaymanners.com, one woman asked about the "new" traditions around gay and lesbian couples working through the whole name change process. Here was their response:

read the whole article here

The Gay Manners website totally helped me think with a whole new clarity on my name. Basically, I feel like I'm picking between the first two options. I'm either going to...

• Keep my name (no change at all) 
• Hyphenate (Mrs. Marie Mylastname-Hislastname)

If I go with the second option, my new last name would be 16 letters long - yikes! But I think it may be worth it to keep my name a part of me while also establishing a connection with Joel and his family. When we have kids, we may have to have another difficult conversation about names (I'm also the last of the grandchildren who can have a boy and carry on the name), but we have some time before we worry about that. 

What did you decide to do about your last name? Change it immediately, pull a Sarah Michelle Gellar and change it in 5 years, kept your name? Let's hear about it! I need more options! 

My First Wedding Craft: Cupcake Toppers

Summer's here, and I've got time on my hands, baby!

However, that freedom won't last forever. Similar to my students, I have a busy couple of months ahead of me. Soon my summer will be filled with professional development and summer school teaching. However, right now I'm in recovery/relaxation mode. Taking care of myself, sleeping in, reading, running, BLOGGING, and doing some of the wedding chores I need to do. While writing checks and making phone calls is productive, I wouldn't call it fun. So while I had a free afternoon in front of me, I decided to tackle one of the crafts I had my eye on for the wedding: cupcake toppers.

 

onewed.com

 egala.com

 

Since we're planning on having cupcakes at our wedding, I wanted to do something to jazz up the plain  frosting on each petite cake. Browsing around online I found a ton of cute cupcake toppers, but I wasn't eager to spend a ton on something that would inevitably end up on some table at the end of the night: no one wants to take these puppies home, I'm sure... 

bhldn.com

I loved the look of these 5 gold sparkly hearts from bhldn, but I didn't love the price. Plus, there were only 5 of the toppers, and I'm still not sure if we're even having a cutting cake or just cupcakes, so the size wasn't very practical. What's a girl to do? Craft it myself!

 

Now, this craft is far from rocket science. My materials were flippin' simple:

• Martha Stewart heart paper punch
• Glittery scrapbook paper
• Mini wooden dowels
• Glue gun

All I did was punch out the hearts in rapid succession over an empty box, glue one side, slap a dowel down, place another heart on top, squeeze and then, boom! Cupcake topper. (Sorry my instructions are lame, but seriously? This project was too simple.)

Of course, I was also mixing up the paper and using this really cool, extra sparkly paper that the paper punch just could not handle, so I've somehow already jammed the thing. The punch will be going back to Michael's tomorrow, because I have 27 of these babies ready to go, but I'm aiming for one on each cupcake, so 98 more to go, at least!  

My next craft looks like it is going to be a disaster (a gold glittery initial letter for a table). Looks like I'll just be hiding it somewhere in the decor! What was your first wedding craft project like? Simple or complicated? Success or failure?

Juicey Juice

I'm all about trying new things. Just kidding. New things are the worst and I hate change. But I am a bit of a bandwagon hopper when it comes to fitness, and all of the juice cleanses out there have definitely intrigued me. There were many purported benefits such as glowing skin, more energy and focus, and a jump start for your metabolism. A few of my coworkers decided to do a cleanse (the same week of writing report cards) and I decided to jump on board!

I knew a juice cleanse wasn't going to be a cure for my quest for weight loss. Sure, I'd lose some weight, but as soon as I took a bite of anything all that weight would jump right back on, but I was eager to get a jump start on eating healthy and being more mindful. Read on to see if I achieved my goals...

my meals (x3) for three days

The juice cleanse was three days long. Each day I got to drink 6 juices, including: green dream (kale, romaine, apple, celery), PAMP (pineapple, apple, mint, pear), beetastic (beets, apple, ginger), lively lemonade (lemon, cayenne, agave), tropical dreams (greens, cuke, cilantro, pineapple), and cozy cashew milk (cashew, cinnamon). 

The BEST juices:

-The green ones, which were pretty savory, were delicious and satisfying

-PAMP. Seriously so delicious and refreshing. Would have been more delicious with tequila in a salt rimmed glass and some chips and guac...

-Cozy cashew milk. Nights would have been very sad without that delicious, milkshake-like drink!

The WORST juice:

-Beetastic. Decidedly NOT beetastic. I struggled to get through that drink every lunch... I'm so not a beet girl, unless they are in a salad with goat cheese. 

I felt pretty good throughout the cleanse. I didn't cheat once, which was the surprising part for me. I'm a pretty mindless eater and I tend to just grab snacks throughout the day without truly thinking if I really am hungry or just want to eat... I drank a lot of water with lemon and cucumber and herbal tea to stay hydrated and I had each juice 2-3 hours apart. I got a lot of sleep too. During the cleanse, I went to bed at 9:00 on the dot each night, and got up a little later (5:20 in the am, whoa watch me sleep in a whole extra 20 minutes!) since I didn't have to worry about making coffee, breakfast or lunch. 

On Saturday at 12:00, I had my first bite of food and sip of coffee in over 90 hours. I had oatmeal and it was so delicious. I wanted an almond croissant, but thought of all that hard work I just put into my body, so I settled for the oatmeal and I really have no regrets. Well, I still want the almond croissant, but the oatmeal left me completely satisfied! 

Would I do another juice cleanse? Probably. It was rejuvenating and left me feeling lighter, more focused, and I got great rest during it. I'll be interested in seeing whether I am able to continue making better food choices or I will fall back into my mindless-eating ways. Overall, I highly recommend it (expect the beet juice. I'm going to need something other than beet juice in my next cleanse!)

Reintroductions

Well, just about 2 months has flown by since the last time I've posted. Work has been extremely busy and planning a wedding hasn't been at the front of my cortex. So in case you might have forgotten...

I'm Marie. I'm a teacher in the Bay Area. When I'm not in the classroom (and I'm in the classroom a lot), I enjoy running, wine tasting, yoga (especially the hot/Bikram kind), cooking, reading, watching home improvement shows and model house hunting. 

this is his way of 'rebelling': standing on the closed side

My future husband (!!!) is Joel. He's a technical support rep for a cloud-based healthcare something something company. (Remember how no one on Friends knew exactly what Chandler did? Kind of the same thing over here...) Joel loves many things passionately: me, the Beach Boys, Giants baseball, comic books and super hero movies, and local history. He also likes to eat my cooking and look at model houses too.

after my first half marathon, 2010

We started dating in November of 2005. We lived in the same dorm: I was on the second floor, he was on the first. We actually saw each other for the first time at the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz: it was the first week of school in September and I saw him hanging out with a bunch of the girls from the dorm and thought I had no chance. It was a terrible night for me! Joel saw me all alone, and he thought I was beautiful. He made every effort to get to know and woo me when we got back to the dorm. Right before Thanksgiving break we were official! 

our first Giants game together (and my first game ever), 2006

We've done a lot of growing up together in the 8.5 years we've known each other. He supported me through several difficult deaths, gave me wine, snacks, and encouragement as I earned two degrees, was by my side when I hunted for my dream job, and helped me carry my mattress through city streets as I relocated during my junior, senior, and grad school years (staying sane during a move is no easy feat, and we've had some stupidly difficult moves). 

I've been there for Joel as he pursued his dreams, worked with him on his various projects both in and out of school, supported him through many tough job searches (graduating in 2007 right as the economy collapsed was not easy!), and celebrated his many successes.

We moved in together in August of 2010, when we both found jobs that would give us some stability. While marriage was definitely on our minds, we both wanted to wait until our careers were more stable: Joel was a contractor rather than a full employee and I was an assistant teacher rather than having my own classroom. 

Three years later, in March of  2013, Joel was offered his current position. Ooh, I was getting so excited! We were very close to landing dream jobs which meant marriage was on the horizon. I toiled and fought for my dream position at the school I was currently working at. After a rigorous interview process and 3 month long wait, the position was mine! By October of 2013 we were seriously perusing rings. Then in November, 8 years after we became official, Joel quietly asked me to marry him in our bedroom, after I helped him change his windshield wipers (you can't let go of a girl this talented!) 

We're currently procrastinating planning a fun, bright, romantic and casual wedding for 100 guests at the place we first laid eyes on each other: the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz. Planning has been a wee bit stressful as trying to stay within budget in this area in California seems to be near impossible, but I'm determined to keep things easy and breezy. Hopefully this post won't sit here alone for a couple of months and I'll be more regular with the updating!

DOC da What?!

DOC. A Day of Coordinator. Someone whose job it is to step in and say, "I got this..." all day on your wedding. For someone like me who's constantly worried about logistics, a Day of Coordinator sounds amazing.

Now I've really enjoyed wedding planning, and I have a pretty good idea of what I am doing and how things are going (or at least it's fun to pretend to think so!). I don't know if I need a whole wedding planner, but getting some help on the day of the rehearsal and the wedding would be so helpful, and would take any pressure off of my mom and me during the wedding.

I want my family and friends to enjoy our wedding! I don't want to assign people vendors to keep on top of or give my mom a bunch of envelopes with tips to be responsible for handing out later. If vendors have questions, I don't want to hear about them on my wedding day unless it is a dagnabbit emergency. A DOC would be responsible for being that point of contact person on our wedding day, answering all our vendor's questions and helping to set up and take down my wedding vision.

My mom and I both felt strongly about having a DOC, so I set off to find one available on our big day. I call up the first DOC. She sounds amazing! Her services include a meeting to walk through the venue, time at our rehearsal and all set up and tear down on our big day! The cost? $2000.

I'm sorry I'm not sorry, but $2000 for roughly 15 hours of work, TOTAL? That's not going to be happening. Also, after my wedding, I'm quitting teaching and becoming a DOC. 

I called around to some other coordinators and their prices were all similar. $1700, $1800...not much of a difference between $2000! We haven't found a videographer yet, so I really worry about splashing out this money. On the other hand, a DOC feels almost like a necessity to be our detail person on the big day.

Here I am, stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I had a larger wedding party, maybe this wouldn't be as much of an issue (I could be delegating!) but since it may be a small bridal party, I really don't want all of this falling on my mom and me. 

I'm going to keep looking around, but what are your thoughts? DOC or save that $$$?

Why Can't Tastings Happen Everyday?!

We had our tasting with our caterer today and um...it was awesome. I'm almost regretting getting it done so early, but it was either get it done now-ish or wait until November or December, which is crazy time for me as a teacher. With the wedding in February, I'm trying to get as much done earlier rather than later, so today's tasting worked out just fine.

We drove out to Watsonville where our caterer's kitchen is located. We also invited Joel's mom and sister because I can't make a decision for the life of me and Joel wanted their opinions as well. It was so fun and we all walked away wishing we could do tastings all the time.

We started off by tasting some of the passed appetizers.

Beggar's Purse with Fontina and Pine Nuts

Polenta Triangle with Caramelized Onions, Walnut and Bleu

At the bridal expo, we met up with this caterer (recommended by our venue) and they had samples of these delicious chicken with cheese skewer things that were so delicious. We were sold on having them as one of our three passed appetizers. When we tasted the beggar's purse and polenta triangle, we enjoyed both of them but thought they were pretty similar in taste profile, but the beggar's purse was easier to eat and a little bit more delicious. We wanted a lighter, less cheesy appetizer to be passed and our coordinator suggested the ceviche shooter. I wasn't convinced, but she brought out a couple for us to try and we were sold. 

Ceviche Shooter with a mini fork! How could we not?

The shooter has tilapia and shrimp and it is so light and cute-looking, too! Plus, as Joel's sister pointed out, we are getting married at the beach, so some seafood would be appropriate. 

Then we moved on to our vegetarian entree, butternut squash ravioli in a sage butter sauce. 

Yessssss...pasta...

Perfectly sweet, savory, tender and light. I think anyone looking for a veggie entree will be very happy. Did I mention we're also having grilled veggies and garlic mashed potatoes? Yes, I think we'll be all set for vegetarian guests! Next up, meats:

Tri Tip

 Tri Tip Sauces: Mushroom Port, BBQ, Peppercorn, and Au Jus

Salmon with Orange Glaze

The tri tip was delicious! Perfectly cooked and seasoned. We're serving it with the peppercorn sauce and horseradish. The salmon got mixed reviews: Joel's mom and sister liked it, especially the sauce, while Joel and I weren't sold on it. To us, it tasted a little fishy (yes, we know it's fish). We wanted a fish entree because of Joel's Kosher grandma, so we're trying to figure out what to do. Keep the salmon, and add a different sauce? Switch to halibut or sea bass? We'll see. The nice thing about our caterer is we can make changes to the menu up to two weeks before the wedding (maybe that's industry standard but... I don't know!)

So here's the final menu as it stands right now:

Appetizers:

• Stationary Cheese and Fruit Display
• Chicken with Fontina and Lemon Beurre Blanc Sauce on a Skewer
• Beggar's Purse
• Ceviche Shooter

Salad:

• Plated Caesar

Buffet:

• Grilled Tri Tip with Peppercorn Sauce
• Salmon with Orange Glaze
• Butternut Squash Ravioli in Sage Butter Sauce
• Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes
• Mixed Grilled Veggies

There's still a few things to decide. What type of plates to use (smaller stylish square or less attractive larger round), bread on the buffet or at the table (a $0.50 difference per person), linen colors, chair covers or Chivari (yeah, I might go there). 

But overall we are all pretty pleased as punch with our food choices. I know it may seem like a pretty standard 'wedding buffet', but to be honest, we like that. I don't think our guests want us to splash $100 on each plate of food (and we couldn't afford it if we wanted to!). We just want some tasty, simple food that will fill every one up, make them feel like they had a nice dinner, and not hold them back from hitting the dance floor. Hopefully our menu will help us achieve our goal!

Did you have a tasting for your wedding food? How did it go?!